tired again

I think this evaluation stuff is gonna make blogging kinda hard. I’m just super tired after all that. Which is maybe a bad sign for if I actually manage to get a job, I’ll be even more exhausted. This post and yesterday’s don’t have images because like I said, if I want to put pictures I’d need to get up and sit at my computer, and I just really don’t want to do that. The chairs at the center kinda suck and that sure doesn’t help my back. Today I had to do a bunch of math problems and that was not as fun. Then I had to do a two page essay on one of the six provided topics and I thought that would be harder than it ended up being. I saw some of the people who are ahead of me in the program getting to work with physical props, seeing how well you can sort and file things, and I can’t wait to do that. That’s basically playing with toys. I hope I do that soon.

Tests are fun

I had the first day of my Diagnostic Vocational Evaluation today. It went alright. All the stuff asking what my ideal job is and what my strengths are were difficult, but then they gave me a bunch of what were basically standardized tests. It was stuff like basic logic puzzles, figuring out how you’d file different names and looking for mistakes, etc. I forgot that I’m really really good at that kind of stuff! I haven’t taken a test in years. It was kind of fun. I felt like a kid again, just being handed a task to complete and doing it. Anyways, I’m exhausted. I have to go to 15 sessions, so it’s Tuesday-Thursday this week, then Monday-Thursday the next three weeks. Each session is from 12-5. I have no clue what they’re gonna fill all this time with, but having a sort of daily routine again is interesting. 

Cookies

 

I made cookies today. It’s another thing that’s made more difficult by my back pain. Any sort of cooking requires a lot of tilting forward to work on stuff on the counter, which is pretty hard on both my upper and lower spine. Pretty worth it though, the cookies are great. Hang on let me see if I can find the recipe. Okay I found it. I used chocolate chips instead of the M&M baking bits cause they didn't have them at the store. Highly recommend Terence’s cookie recipes. If you are reading this I am handing you a cookie to eat. And if you haven’t baked yourself cookies in a while then you should bake yourself cookies. Even just the premade stuff in a box. It’s really good to make a cookie in your oven.

old lady birthday!!!

 

on her favorite blankie

I did my laundry today and I have a headache so I do not at all feel up for making a very long post. But I need everyone to know: today is Scout’s 15th birthday!!! Which means we got her when I was 12, which feels like a lifetime ago. I’ve had her for more of my life than I haven’t! She’s recovering well from her surgery by the way, I don’t think I ever updated. I love you little lady!!!

narrative foil thoughts for The Pitt

 

girlboss

I am really enjoying the character of Dr. Baran Al-Hashimi in season 2 of The Pitt so far. I like the way she has been framed as a foil to Robby, starting from the first episode, where she requested that he stop referring to the ER as the Pitt, as it has a negative connotation. Calling it the Pitt is part of Robby's doom-and-gloom attitude in regard to where he works. He seems to think nothing can change, nothing can get better. The ER sucks, it's chaotic, they're gonna lose people. And that's all true! But Robby is incredibly reluctant to try to change the workflow and setup, even in a way that might make things run more smoothly. He was ready to dislike Al-Hashimi as soon as he heard of her becoming his replacement, because he knew someone else would run things differently than he did.

Meanwhile, Al-Hashimi has come into the Pitt hoping to change it for the better. The problem is, with little experience in emergency medicine, there's a bit of naïvety in how she's approaching it. Take, for example, her idea for patient passports. It's a good idea in theory! But the reality is that the cases they deal with are unpredictable and the passports could end up causing more frustration. Her obsession with introducing genAI into the workplace is another part of that. Most fans had a knee-jerk reaction when she first brought it up, instantly hating her, but as she's explained her reasoning, she definitely has her heart in the right place. She wants the doctors to spend less time charting so that they have more time during the day to treat patients, and don't need to stay overtime to finish like Santos has been. Of course, as an audience we know that genAI is not going to be the solution to that problem, but again, it's good that she's trying.

I hope that, by the end of the season, she and Robby will have been able to find a way to meet in the middle. The way Robby has been so dismissive of her and what she's trying to do has been bugging me, but I'm pretty sure we're supposed to be having a lot of problems with the way he's dealing with things so far this season. Curious to see where it goes! 

damn it

Earlier today, I was all ready to write a blog post about the framing of Dr. Al-Hashimi as a foil to Robby in Thr Pitt. But I didn’t want to sit at the computer because my back hurt. It’s been a few hours and all my motivation is now gone. I really hate how my brain works like this! I’ll get excited to talk about something, and then my chronic pain makes me have to put it off, and by the time my body doesn’t feel as horrible I don’t want to write anymore. It makes me wonder if my pain is making me even less functional than I thought. Makes me kinda spiral. So I’m just making this post now because I’m pretty sure the rest of my day is gonna be spent in a depressive episode.

ramble day

 

good dog I saw on the subway

I’ve got no clue what to talk about today. Scout is healing well from her surgery, even though she’s still peeing all over the house. Apparently we might need to deal with that for a while until she’s fully recovered.

I start my vocational rehabilitation evaluation next Tuesday. They’re having me come in from 12-5 for fifteen days, which feels like a lot. I have no idea what they’re gonna have me do for that long, but it’ll be kinda nice to have a daily task.

I watched the Sony State of Play and the new Silent Hill game looks cool. I think I might actually play it, even though I’m a real coward in regards to horror games. I could barely get through the Outer Wilds DLC! But it could be fun.

A Fresh Shuffle

 

At the beginning of the year, I switched from Spotify to Apple Music. Part of the reason was in protest of them running ICE ads, and the other was that my dad had gotten Apple Music and decided to put us all on the family plan to save money. I transferred my entire Liked Songs playlist, and one thing I realized is that Spotify was definitely using some kind of algorithm when shuffling. Shuffling the playlist on Apple Music, I was getting a lot of songs that I hadn’t heard in ages. So here, during my commute from home to physical therapy, I am going to tell you every song that comes up when I shuffle my song library.

Lovely - Johnny Manchild and the Poor Bastards

Hell yeah good start. I’m a big piano rock guy and I also love horn lines so this song rules. If you’re into Ben Folds or Jack’s Mannequin I recommend Johnny Manchild as a kind of rougher, edgier equivalent. Though this is one of their more chill songs. Good track!

Moscow - Autoheart

Ohhhhh that’s the stuff. I love this era of early to mid 2010s pop rock. Is this pop rock? Indie rock? Is it rock? I don’t know, genres are made up. This song is still super cute. Probably heard this one on a lot of 8tracks playlists. Literally let’s get a dog an Irish Red Setter it’s all we need to get better!!!!

Call Me Joe - Jukebox the Ghost

There they are, my favorite band! Showed up pretty early! This song might be secretly a genderqueer anthem whether they wanted it to be or not. Call Me Joe is one of those JTG singles that I love but never ended up on album. Stay the Night is another one, I love the song. And Keys in the Car! That one never even got a studio recording!

Pink Light - MUNA

 

Alright switching up the vibe, time for sad girl bops! This is probably still my favorite MUNA album. I think Pink Light has one of my favorite pre-chorus to chorus transitions of their songs, and they’re pretty damn good at those. This whole album is so gorgeous I should relisten to it. I think they have a new song out, I will put it on when I am done with this.

Holliday - The Weekend Run Club

I think this is one that showed up on my Spotify Discover playlist and I really liked it. No clue what else this band has done, I should look sometime. This song is fun, very jaunty. Besides the MUNA song everything I’ve gotten has had very similar vibes. I promise my taste isn’t boring.

Chinese Satellite - Phoebe Bridgers

This freaking album made female indie artists so boring for a hot second. And look, the album is excellent! This is a great song! The strings are so good and it all builds really well. But my god, the era of Phoebe Bridgers knockoffs being pushed as the next big thing was so rough. Chinese Satellite is gorgeous though.

Bad Friend - Rina Sawayama

LET’S GOOOOOO. The vocal warping and harmony on the first chorus is so sick. What a good album. Reminds me that at Superpower Slam I saw a wrestler use XS by Rina as her entrance song which is such a good choice. 

The Draw - Bastille

IT’S ME THE BASTILLE APOLOGIST. All This Bad Blood is one of my favorite albums ever. Specifically not Bad Blood on its own, the deluxe edition has a bunch of my favorite Bastille songs, and this is one of them. Another song with chorus harmonies that make me go yesssssss. And I’m sorry the outro goes hard as hell. There are so many good Bastille songs that no one has heard because Pompeii was their only big hit and it’s not even close to one of the best on that album.

Stop Making This Hurt - Bleachers

God damn it. I guess everyone hates Jack Antonoff now because he ruined Taylor Swift or something. Even though when she switched it up and went with Max Martin on the new album it was pretty boring and I will maintain that The Tortured Poets Department is a way better album. Anyways, Bleachers. Yeah this is still a bop. Listening on the subway and it sucks cause I want to be dancing a little bit. I’m tapping my foot at least.

Pretending - Orla Gartland

Even though I like Orla’s newest album more than the one this is from, this album is still solid. I call things solid so much now and I think it’s because of wrestling. This isn’t one of my favorite Orla songs but it’s good! 

Better Place - Bermuda Search Party

 

This is a similar case to Holliday where it was a Spotify Discover find and I don’t know anything about the band. I’m a simple person, I hear a nice horn line, I hit save. I like this singer’s voice!

Pride - The Family Crest

Fuck yeah. I own this album on vinyl. The Family Crest is theater kid music in the best way possible. I found them when they opened for earlier entry Jukebox the Ghost. Speaking of really good voices! Dude from this band is one of my favorites. I have no idea why they haven’t popped off on TikTok among like, the dark academia crowd or something. Is that even a thing anymore?

From the Mouth of an Injured Head - Radical Face

You’re goddamn right. What a good song to end on. I relistened to the entire Family Tree album trilogy from Radical Face recently and I think it’s one of my favorite pieces of art ever. This is one of the songs that I think works on its own even if you don’t know the Lore. I would love to use it on a soundtrack one day. 

That’s all of them! Nothing too embarassing. It’s funny, I have friends who say I have diverse music taste, but it’s really more that I just know a Lot of Bands. Looking at this list it’s extremely rock/folk/indie pop. I swear I have hip hop and country and R&B saved! They just didn’t show up. I have a ton of songs okay.

Return to Silent Hill made me really mad

hey how's it goin

Spoilers for Return to Silent Hill and Silent Hill 2

I wouldn't exactly call myself a Silent Hill 2 fan. I've never played the game, and I don't think I've even watched a full playthrough on YouTube. But I know enough about it, and know enough people who love it, to know that Return to Silent Hill is dogshit. Hell, I don't need to know anything about Silent Hill 2 to know it's just a bad movie.

I know that having Mary be tied to the cult in Silent Hill is an extremely bad choice. Part of what makes Silent Hill 2 interesting is how disconnected it is from the story of the first game. James is just a Guy, and Mary is just a Lady who was His Wife. The fact that the actress who plays Mary and Maria also played Angela was an extremely bad sign. Again, I have not played the game, but I know Angela's story, and that it means a lot to a lot of people. Also, one of the few things I do love from Silent Hill 2 is the shitty little girl named Laura who calls James a fartface, and watching the movie I was getting really annoyed that she had been turned into a generic creepy little girl in a creepy old dress with a creepy gross doll.

they made her boringgggg

And then, of course, there comes the big reveal that most people, including myself, hated, which is that Angela and Laura are both "aspects" or "versions" of Mary. This is revealed in an extremely funny flashback where James goes to Mary's grave and the headstone says "Mary Angela Laura Crane." Laura is a representation of Mary's childhood, while Angela represents the implied sexual abuse Mary has gone through. Which means that for Angela, it's not that James can't save her because he's not supposed to, because it's not his place. He can't save her cause she's not a person. I think that sucks!!!

Not only that, but this reveal makes Maria's whole existence make no sense. The whole point of Maria is that she looks like Mary, that she's a sexy hotted version of Mary who was, well, born from a wish. Maria is an interesting character because she's not real, and she kinda knows it. She's Mary and she's not Mary and that's her character. What's the point of making Angela and Laura also Mary? It doesn't add anything, and just makes Maria feel pointless. If they were gonna go this route, they might have well combined Maria and Angela as characters, since they're both Mary anyways.

There's a ton of things wrong with this movie. I haven't even gotten into how it justifies James killing Mary in a way completely antithetical to the game that makes me wonder if Christophe Gans even played it. He did, he loves the games! So how did this happen Christophe?!?! All this movie has is some occasional fun imagery, and also I liked the guy playing Eddie because he was the only one who got kinda goofy with it. Giving the Mannequin a giant ass was really funny. Bad movie!

uh oh missed a day!

thumbs up doctor

Well, I forgot to post on February the 8th. Don't really have an excuse. I was considering making two posts today to make up for it, but I realized I don't actually have to do that if I don't want to. So I won't.

Update on Animal Crossing: I got Aurora on my island! Found her with a Nook Miles Ticket. Truffles left and good riddance. I don't like that I have three Normal villagers now with just how my brain works, but I want to kick Nana out soon anyways.

We got a call from the vet a few hours ago to tell us that Scout is fine after the surgery (visualization above) and we can pick her up in about an hour. I'm very glad, I know she'll still be in pain for a while but I hope after a bit she feels so much better.

update on miss old lady

 

miss peepee

Scout needs surgery. She's been peeing all over the place the past month or so, so Mom and I took her to the vet. He did an x-ray and found she has a pretty large bladder stone. I looked at the x-ray and like, compared to the size of the little girl? That thing looked huge. So he prescribed us a new food for Scout to eat that would hopefully help her pee out the bladder stone. She liked the food, for one day. Then she decided she hates it. She has started to pace around the house, squatting down as if she's going to pee, and nothing comes out. I can't read her mind, but I think Scout is really uncomfortable. Mom called the vet to ask what to do next, and he said that since things are just getting worse, we need to do surgery to remove the bladder stone. I'm pretty worried about it. Scout's gonna be 15 in a week. I hope her little old body will be able to handle the procedure. And I just hope that after the surgery she'll feel a lot better. Ugh I love her so much.